Waiting....

I still sit here waiting so see what will happen. Will there be any action against The Coach's license. It is starting to wear a little thin. I know there is enough to make sure he doesn't work with children anymore. I have faith in the investigation, but the waiting in so hard.  But there are still lingering thoughts..."Will they believe me?...Did I do enough?...Will anyone even care once action is taken?...Does my story even matter?  

I call every couple of weeks for an update.  I am always told that a decision "will come soon".  I do know that he was fired from his position as assistant superintendent in his district month's ago.  He hasn't been sitting on administrative leave as the investigation plays itself out. That was a relief. 

I have been busy, following my known matters of filling my life with productivity to mask the pain, insecurity, and crippling anxiety. I am teaching again, which in a pandemic has been intense.  I teach each day for hours as I also manage and assist with my children's learning.  Time is flying by and at times my healing feels like it is drifting away.  I am fighting to make sure that I don't bury it anymore. That I won't let the mask of  productivity stop my healing journey.     

​I am still here waiting.