Day 8: One Long Week

“It takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk
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"The truth is like a scalpel because it is painful to open our wounds and uncover all of the lies… When we look at our wounds with eyes of truth, we can finally heal these wounds" - Don Miguel Ruiz

I woke up exhausted today. This past week was a very long one.  On top of putting a lot of effort into this project, I also teach 2nd grade in the time of a Corona.  Distance Learning is surprisingly exhausting.  It is hard to explain to people who are not teachers, but this necessary educational model takes a lot out of teachers.  Report cards were due Thursday and parent conferences are this Monday and Tuesday.  Needless to say I was pretty much immobile last night and woke up exhausted today.  

This project is necessary.  I am gaining confidence and clarity as I write and share each post, but it is taking a lot out of me.  Truth truly is a scalpel that opens up old wounds so they can heal. I can feel that.  It isn't an exciting thing opening up decades old wounds. Some might wonder if it is truly worth it.  To me, it is. It did take courage for me to start this journey. I had to trust that I could handle opening up old wounds.  But I am happy that I did.  

Today wasn't the greatest day.  I woke up tired as did the boys.  We did a long hike up to a beautiful lake on Mt. Hood and no one, except Derrick, were at their best.  But Oregon always has a way of showing up for me.  When we rounded the bend in the trail and saw the frozen lake with a snow capped mountain backdrop, I felt the happiness I had been searching for all morning long.  

There will be good days.  There will be bad days.  The important thing is to learn and grow as the days pass by.