As the sun rose on 2021, I was pondering where to go from here on my storytelling journey. I continued to ask myself “what are my goals as I continue”. When I finished my 30 days, I was emotionally exhausted. It truly took a lot out of me. Between the blog, teaching, and parenting, I limped into the holidays and Winter Break. With all the anticipation and possibility that comes with a new year, I am ready to continue my journey because there are still so many chapters of this story to tell.
I wondered what format I wanted to use going forward. Should I start a podcast? Should I have a robust social media presence? Should I have a YouTube channel? Then I realized that this blog has been my scared space to tell my story. Why change it? This is where the story should continue.
This blog has already enriched my life and pushed my story forward. Laying out my hopes, questions, and vulnerability on these pages has given my a confidence I haven’t felt in my life. This blog has also been productive in bringing to light male sexual abuse and the many players in my own abuse story. It is creating an accountability factor that many thought they would never see.
My blog has been passed to a law enforcement agency (details withheld of where, what, and why) but I was finally able to tell my story in an official interview that might actually hold my abuser accountable.
My blog has been passed to journalists who have their eye on the developments so when the time is right, and there is action from certain agencies, my story can be told so any other victims can come forward to tell their stories.
My blog will be used to put pressure on the New Mexico Department of Education, who are dragging their feet in revoking my abuser’s teaching license.
My blog has reconnected me to so many. I have kept every message that people took time to write and revisit them as my resolve waivers.
My blog has set me on a new path of recovery as it helped me accept my abuse while also finally opening my mind to seeing myself a survivor. I have still have so far to go; I regressed a bit after the 30 day project, but I know that recovery isn’t a process that happens over night. There will be many ups and downs. But I still want to be here, writing and sharing.
This process is about growth. I want this journey to make me a better husband, father, son, and brother. I want to be present in the moments created by my beautiful family. I want to continue to laugh with them as we fail, twice, to make homemade gingerbread homes. I want to learn how to make the perfect pot of homemade pasta and bake the perfect cupcake with them. I want to shed the baggage and weight I feel each day so I can explore life. There is still so much of this world to learn from and explore.
My journey continues as a new year and chapter begins. To every reader and friend who reads this, thank you so much for making this blog a place to share. I needed this space and I will always appreciate the people who helped me create it.
Happy 2021. May we all heal and learn to see each other again through lenses of compassion, understanding, and empathy. There is such beauty in humanity and I hope that we can take all the lessons from 2020 to make our world kind again.