Day 1: 30 days, 30 posts...

30 days, 30 posts, 30 day of putting myself out here to try to make change.

I am 30 days away from turning 38. While 38 truly feels like a random birthday, it means a lot of me. Just over a year ago I started my journey of healing. I now know that healing is a life long journey but it took me nearly 24 years to step foot on this path. 24 years since I was that 14 year old kid who was sexually abused by someone I trusted. Someone who was suppose to help guide me through the formative years of my life. Someone who was my teacher and coach.

So why am I doing this personal project of visibility on my social media platforms? Because we can make these platform what we want. They are ours, and I want mine, for the next 30 days, to be about bringing light to one story of abuse in hopes of making space for other survivors while also educating the people in my life about the path survivors take in a quest of healing.

Invisibility is one of the main obstacles. Processing through the invisibility of being abused to the invisibility of the pain that I have been living with for decades that no one could see. It created a complex of no one truly caring or the thoughts that what happened was not “a big deal”. These are not truths I want to carry anymore.

So I will put myself out here and make this visible for myself. This is an important step for me. Writing these thoughts each day and sharing them in vulnerable way will break me out of this trace of invisibility. I also hope it is my attempt to remove the stigma of male sexual abuse so more space can be created for survivors like myself. This will be uncomfortable for me as I share my story and write “male sexual abuse survivor” each day. It will uncomfortable for you as well, as the stigma that comes with this subject is hard for people to hear. You might think it is over sharing or an attention grab. It will be uncomfortable, but I am hoping that I, and those who join or follow my journey, will grow in that discomfort. Otherwise, just keep scrolling.

I AM a male sexual abuse survivor.